| maybe once or twice... |
[ 08.17 - 2:36pm ] |
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music |
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ahhhhhhh |
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ahhh...im here...i might update...again...maybe...if i feel like it...im bored...just got home from skool...gotta do homework...oh well...im tired...i think ima nap...nighty night!!
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| long time no see 47... |
[ 06.18 - 9:22pm ] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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FATA-I'm The Best At Ruining My Life |
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hey hey hey...guess what...im writing in here....oh you know it bitches...been for-fucking-ever...oh well i hate this thing anyways...im talking to some people on aim...and bored and grounded...oh well...later on
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[ 03.18 - 11:17pm ] |
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hey guys good night...tell you bout it later
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| Love Kills, Romance Is Dead And I Dont Even Trust Myself But I Love You... |
[ 03.15 - 8:14pm ] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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music |
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Senses Fail-Angela Baker And My Obsession With Fire |
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hey guys...wtf is up...im bored...and kinda angry...at thomas...go fucking figure...why does he come home...im doing great until he comes home then everything just gets fucked...like we argue all the time and you would think he could grow up a little bit considering hes almost 21 and he shouldnt even be living here right now and the only reason he is is because he went to jail and we are waiting to see if hes gonna go back to jail which im praying he does...fucker...he comes home and first words out of his mouth are...can i use the phone...no you cant fucking use the phone i just got online wtf do you think...you walked in and i was just signing on..in fact...you stood there and watched me sign on...how long are you gonna be? however the fuck long i wanna be and if you got a problem with it go smoke some weed and go to jail again and just watch me pray mom dosnt bail you out again...then he started eating the chips...that are mine...it was fucked and i asked him nicely to stop and he didnt fucking answer me he kept eating like a fucking glutton...then i was like hey...stop eating my fucking chips those are my lunch tomorrow...so hes like im not gonna eat that many...and then took a big ass handful and put em down and now like 3 quarters of the bag is gone....then he has the nerve to ask me for fucking money...no im not gonna give you fucking money after you stole three dollar of money from me that wasnt even fucking mine...fuck off...i didnt really say all that but fuck him...god damn it im just mad for no reason...i dont know im talking to lisa and im just now realizing i fucked up and this is the reason we have grown apart...this entry is actually for lisa...look...i know that what i did was wrong and i basically dug my own grave and now i have to sleep in it...but i just want you to know that you are one of the few people that i wouldnt trade the world for but would trade my life for...i love you so fucking much hence the title of the entry...i cant even believe i did what i did and im so sorry...you have no idea I love you so much and now i have a song for you...
Life is floating fast away
But I look your head is turned away
From the moment you left I knew something wasnt right
But this feeling inside has kept me up all night
You and me are like one heartbeat
So slice open my veins
And let the romance bleed away
From the moment you left I knew something wasnt right
But the feeling inside has kept me up all night
You and me are like one heartbeat
Back into what I thought i knew, These words inside me, Tell me what to do
My heart held, In the palm of your hand
(Forget my name)Now I know, The way to go, This place inside my demented mind
(Forget my name)You saw me bleeding on the abthroom floor
(Forget my name) This time in silence, This time I win.
Lisa I love you to death and I hope you know I'm so sorry for what I did...
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| bleh...damn library... |
[ 03.14 - 10:04am ] |
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mood |
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 productive |
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music |
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Atreyu-The Crimson |
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hey guys...whats goin on?...heh i guess the weekend was good..saturday had a big CAP night...we ordered 4 large pizza's with the CAP fund and just basically hung out and chilled at my house all night which was pretty cool cause we played manhunt and everyone was full of pizza and fanta so none of us could run and then it was so funny to watch jay run after ethan just trying to hold his pants up...lol...well let's see...yesterday kinda blew hard...but it wasnt bad at the same time...i dont know why but i was just in a mood all day and i slept through most of the day...brando spent the night saturday night and we all woke up at like 8 o'clock and then anthony and brando fell asleep on the couch and at one point they were laying on top of each other it was really funny...so then anthony woke up and went...somewhere...then i went to sleep on the other couch...and woke up at 1ish and brando had to be home by 2 so we were basically fucked on that deal...then we went and dropped brando off,went home,used the phone..brando and lisa came back and we all just hung out and played crappy letter b...that game blows ass...i got my ass kicked...so anyways...afterwards i talked to emily about brando for about an hour or so...then i talk to brando about emily...and emily told me something that bothered me so had to slip up and say it and now emily is pissed off and when she told me she was mad at me all i could say was oops because i couldnt realy tell her why i asked ali what she told me not to tell her...but i talked to ali about it cause i really didnt know what was going on...cause it turns out ali lied to me about something but i wasnt really angry because i talked to her about it...but whatever it's third period and im in the damn library and jay and lisa arent here today so i feel so left out man it suxx so much...o well im out
I love You Ali
Gone...
CAP bitches
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[ 03.12 - 10:55am ] |
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mood |
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 predatory |
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music |
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F.A.T.A.-Mercury Rising(stuck in my head) |
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hey guys....sorry it's been a while since i've written in here...well let's sum up my week...well lets see...i found out my cousin died which really sucked and then on thursday i had to go to the funeral which was really depressing...nothing really good happened up until about 4ish when i went to brando's house and then we were off to church town with Ali...i love her so much im telling you guys...you have no idea...well anyways...so went to church...some chick brought a skateboard which was pretty cool...cause we skated around a bunch...then she nailed me in the eye with it after youth group so i have a pretty shiner...but whatever i dont care it dosnt hurt...and uhh...for those of all of you who read this already probly know about the finger of death in the van on the way home...but it's all good i wasnt in her pants...and brando yes i did...but shhh...i was only rubbing her inner thigh...and thats what vicky was talking about lol...so anyways got out well tripped and landed on my face out is more like the terminology i should use...i tripped on the fucking armrest in the van and fell right on the pavement facefirst and just laughed... had anthony come pick me up at brando's...and yesterday was awesome...got the whole CAP and went to Taco Bell...ordered 30 somethin dollars worth of food...7 #6's...lol...and made furber carry em all to the table...lol...i made my own little straw tower so i could set my drink on the floor and preserve space on the table but it didnt work as planned cause it didnt allow me to drink that much at one time...so fuck it...so skated around in teh parking lot for a little bit then decided...off to sawyer...saww lauren...shes still as nice as she always was...too nice...but it was a god change...rolled the shit outta my ankle ollie-ing two deck and then was done for the rest of the night...went back to jareds and watched the video of andrew busting his nuts again and i tell you it never gets old but everytime you see it your scrotum shrivles up inside of you...so we left...and raced this guy on 192 all the way to nova and he pretended he was gonna follow us so we flipped him the hardcore business and he left...we also raced this other guy in a van and he flipped us off so we gave him the CAP sign...WORD BITCHES!!!...so we came home...took off my shoes...looks like i got a softball surgically implanted in my ankle...yea so i hope tonight is as good...and im gonna make like a tree and leaf...hahaha *sarcastic laugh*...cyas...naes...
I Fucking Love You Ali
Gone...
CAP=Cr@zy @ngry People....CAP bitches....DO NOT...FUCK WITH US!!
Put an 'X' next to what you have accomplished, blank the rest.
Then REPOST, not REPLY..
(-)= maybe/somewhat
(X) snuck out of the house
(-) gotten lost in your city
(X) saw a shooting star
() been to any other countries besides Canada
() had a serious surgery
(X) gone out in public in your pajamas
(X) kissed a stranger
(X) hugged a stranger
(X) been in a fist fight
(-) been arrested
(X) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
(X) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
(X) swore at your parents
(X) been in love
(X) been close to love
() been to a casino
() been skydiving
() been scuba diving
() broken a bone
()been high
(X) skinny-dipped
(X)skipped school
(-) flashed someone
(X) saw a therapist
(X) played spin the bottle
(X) gotten stitches
() drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
(X)bitten someone
() been to Niagara Falls
(X)gotten the chicken pox
(X) gotten poison ivy...( not allergic)
(X)kissed a member of the opposite sex
(-) kissed a member of the same sex
() crashed into a friend's car
() been to Japan
(X) ridden in a taxi
(X) been dumped
(X)shoplifted
(X) been fired
(X)HAD Feelings for someone who didnt have them back
(-) gone on a blind date
(X)lied to a friend
(X) had a crush on a teacher
() celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
() been to Europe
() slept with a co-worker
() been married
() gotten divorce
() had children
(X) seen someone die
(X) had a close friend die
() been to Africa
() Driven over 400 miles in one day
() Been to Canada
() Been to Mexico
() Been to Hawaii
() Seen a volcano
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
() Thrown up in a bar
(X) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(X) Eaten sushi
(X) Been skiing/snowboarding
(X)Been camping
(X) Been camping in the snow
(X)Met someone in person from the internet
() lost a child
() gone to college
() graduated college
()done hard drugs
()tried killing yourself
(X)thought about killing yourself
(X)fired a gun
(X)purposely hurt yourself
(X)taken painkillers
(X)loved someone or missed someone
(X) cuss at an old person.
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| Bad News... |
[ 03.07 - 7:47pm ] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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Atreyu-The Remembrance Ballad |
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hey guys...im really upset right now...i know this is the first entry in a while that i have said more than three words...but this is a really bad day...let's see everything was fine...my weekend sukked...and i was coming out of the jam and losening up because i got to see Ali in school and that just brightened me up...so i was feeling kinda spiffy...had some fun on the bus making fun of this girls earrings,singing some hawthorne heights coming inside...and then the mood completly changed...i went over to anthony on the computer...and i was wondering where mom was and she was at candies...thats strange considering she usually dosnt go over there without a days or two warning like im going to candies...so right away i figured somethien was up but i was not nearly prepared enough for what was in store for me..."Crystal is dead"....OMG...no way man...in denial?...candy is one of my moms best friends...they are family to us...my cousin...or someone close enough to be is dead...i want to cry..but the tears just dont suspend...I love you Crystal
Crystal Louise Fischer
8/6/83----3/6/05....why?
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[ 03.06 - 12:37pm ] |
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mood |
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music |
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Rise Against-Broken English |
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this suxx...
I fucking love you Ali
Gone...
CAP bitches...is falling apart again...:-(
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[ 03.05 - 1:01pm ] |
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fuck me...
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[ 03.04 - 10:06pm ] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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uhhh...fuck....voices in my head? |
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hey guys bad mood...not gonna tell you about it...outtie
I fucking love you Ali
Gone...
CAP bitches!
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